In marriage, there are times that one spouse will need to lean on the other. For emotional support, for comfort, for wisdom… the list could go on & on. It’s a beautiful thing; the back & forth relationship of two people who count on each other and are there as a reliable pillar of strength.
For my husband & I, that also came in the form of supporting one another in careers. When I first began in photography, we relied heavily on Hayden’s income. Starting a wedding photography business (as with most small businesses) isn’t generally an overnight success. The first few years especially, consisted of little to no income for me as I pursued my dream – and counted on Hayden’s income to pay the bills. He was in an industry he wasn’t excited about, but if he was going to allow me the room to spread my own wings, then he knew he had to stay put for awhile. Fast forward some years and my business had flourished. To the point that I really needed “all hands on deck” and badly needed his help at home while I maintained my growing business & took care of 4 kids. He put aside his pride (which I know wasn’t easy for him) and walked away from his career to come home and support mine full-time. Granted, he wasn’t happy in that industry, but it was scary for him to take the risk of leaving it behind. Fast forward a few more years & things within my business stabilized again to the point that he didn’t need to be at home – kids were in school – I hired additional help – things were working well & he could go back into the workforce. He had spent some time in his own self discovery and knew he wanted to enter into an entirely new industry – which was great news, but also included a decrease in what we were used to for his salary.
In September, we will celebrate 15 years of marriage. We were so young when we got married, which means we essentially grew up together. The back & forth between us of supporting one another has happened a lot while we navigated the waters of “figuring out what we want to be when we grow up.” There were times for one of us to step up, work hard & sacrifice while the other took time to try something new & explore. I’ve learned that there are a few key components to doing this successfully: trust, humility, and knowing that at the end of the day, quality of life via happiness is worth more than any high paying salary could offer.